Procrastination

Procrastination is an ugly little habit many writers deal with in their careers.  

And yes, I do believe it is a habit; which means that ultimately the pattern of waiting until the last minute to finish something or never doing it at all can be broken. 

I have warring tendencies in my nature that a) want to plan everything out and be prepared for every scenario possible in as many areas of my life as I can and b) wants to put everything off until...well, forever really.  It's really quite confusing and a bit embarrassing that I seem to be a walking contradiction of myself.    

It depends on the activity of course that determines how much procrastination takes hold.  

If I ever feel as though I HAVE to do whatever it is, the more likely I will put it off until the last possible moment.  If, of course, it is an extra curricular activity that I really WANT to do, it gets done first, and then I regret having finished it so quickly and not taking my time to savor the moment.  

Three weeks ago, I volunteered to submit a piece for my writer's group for critique.  Since I began, no one has gone twice, and I submitted my first time somewhere in the middle of the pack.  I volunteered because our numbers have dwindled a bit during the summer months and no one else was willing to put their hat in the ring.  So I thought "this is great," we're skipping the weekend we would normally meet due to the 4th of July weekend and I'll have an extra week to really have a stellar submission - really knock their socks off."

Oh, you think I would know myself by now...

I had so much time to do everything right and you know what happened?  I had a recovering puppy with his hurt leg and vet appointments, family in town, brand new job, 4th of July plans, helped paint my friend's condo, read a couple of books, worked on our house reconstruction, our 3 year anniversary, birthday parties, copywriting for the new job...

A WHOLE LIST of things I either had to do or that took the place of sitting down and working on my critique submission.  

Was there time in the midst of all of this to write?  Of course there was.  And what did I do?  Write a little, but not focusing on the task at hand. 

I had initially set out to finish this book, get an agent and get a publisher all before the end of the 2009 calendar year.  A goal that I think I should still shoot for (so I have a deadline), but one that I am quickly beginning to realize is almost a laughable feat.  Can it be done?  Sure!  Can I do it is an entirely different question.  One that we will just have to see about. 

So - that is what I'm struggling with currently.  And it seems that when I air out my difficulties, it motivates me through shame and the fear of failure to actually turn myself around.  So here goes nothing - I hope this works!  

Here's my current situation:  

I am hovering at right around 52,000 words at the moment.  My goal is to reach around 90,000 words in my rough draft and then whatever the final word count is, I'm fine with.  

To finish the rough draft alone in 2009, I need to be writing around 2,000 words a week.  

That's 400 new words a day, if I write 5 days out of the 7.  That's totally doable, right??  I think I can do it.  But that's just the rough draft.  Polishing the book is going to take a significant amount of time and stick-to-it-iv-ness, as my Mom would say.  

Okay.  That's enough of that for now.  

Here's some other life-updates: 

Axle doing his silly "Pooh-bear sit"

-Axle is healing quickly and doing really well.  Matt and I took him to the vet today to get his stitches out and the surgeon who performed the surgery praised him on how well he was doing. 

-My new job is as a Brand Manager with a company called Brand Iron.  You can check out what we do here:  www.brandiron.net

-Matt is working almost every night on the house and it's slowly getting done.  The downstairs bath is almost complete (minus the baseboards, crown moulding and the mirror).  We've taken inspiration from a photo my sister-in-law took while she and my brother were in Greece.  It looks great.  I am so proud of Matt and can't wait to share some pics of it when it's complete.  Our house is going to look amazing.    

Pistol, in a reusable grocery bag

-Our youngest pet, a 2 year old short haired tiger striped tabby named Pistol was picked up by a hawk this week.  I was outside clipping the hedges when she spontaneously fell from the sky.  Matt saw her land in an area that was not exactly a normal place for her to fall from (no trees overhead).  The hawk glided up into a nearby tree to wait as she scampered off into the bushes.  The hawk glided off his perch and headed straight for Matt, or so it seemed:  Ty (our 4 year old cat) was in the grass behind him.  

If the bird thought he could pick him up, he is crazy, or really really hungry; either of which is not really a good combination for our cats.  

Pistol and Ty are both fine, surprisingly healthy, but pretty resentful about being confined to the inside of the house for now.  Their cries for freedom are pretty pitiful and hard to ignore.     

 

 -My older brother passed his P.E. exam (Professional Engineer) on the first try.  I guess only 50% of the applicants who take the test make it on the first time around, so we're really proud of him.  Congratulations B!  

-His son, (my nephew) is walking now - scratch that, running.  He's keeping his mommy and daddy on their toes for sure.  I hear that he has forgotten that he still needs to go down the stairs a bit lower to the ground and that he's feeling so confident in his new skill that he's fallen twice now.  Isn't that how we learn?  I imagine he'll be talking soon.  But, if he's anything like his dad, he'll only speak when there's something really worth saying.  And that's okay.  It's just fun (for a chatter box like me) to watch him grow and await the day when he can communicate exactly what he means with words.  

If you're still reading this, and you have a moment, please feel free to take my little poll about the book.  I think that this will really help (when this eventually becomes more of a blog about writing and my book).  

Thanks!  

L

 

Update: Axle is healing, Tanner is ONE and our granite

Here's a short update on a couple of things:  

Puppy got his stitches out today!  2 weeks post-op.  He is lookin' good!  (This photo was taken the first day after surgery - so the swelling and bruising has gone down.)  He's so strong now, it's difficult keeping him from pulling on his leash.  

Tanner is ONE year old!  Here he is on his first trip to the aquarium.  He can barely stay in his seat!

Tanner wanting to swim with the fishes.  (Sting ray, actually.) 

Tanner enjoying his first taste of spaghetti.  (He cried when he was presented with his yellow cake / chocolate icing birthday cake - I guess the icing was too gooey and messy!)  No matter...the more for the rest of us.  He doesn't know what he's missing yet.   

Tanner showing Bryan a big leopard at the zoo.  

We were all mesmerized by this beautiful show of feathers.  

Here's our granite for the bathroom vanities.  Matt really wanted something orange, lighter in overall color with a lot of movement.  I didn't want orange...but we found this one and both liked it.  This'll go on top of two different colors of cherry wood vanities.   

That's the update for now.    

More later.  

L

Show and Not Tell

For my writing critique group, we meet in a coffee shop every other weekend to discuss the writings of two of the group's members.  But last weekend, it was a warm, beautiful day and there was a fire alarm so we decided to sit outside.    

The two previous days, I did yard work and I diligently wore my sunscreen.  I was so proud of myself that I was finally being responsible with my skin; I was so happy I hadn't burned.  On Saturday, I wasn't expecting to sit outside for a couple of hours, and I was not armored with my 30 SPF.

I am now a lobster.  Red as I can be.  But just on my shoulders and chest, so I look like a red and white zebra!  Today is the first day I can really lift my shoulders fully (but not without pain).        

On Saturday, it was my turn to have my first critique with the writing group.  

I was nervous to show the first round of my first novel to anyone, let alone a group of writers.  

I did try and clean up the first draft a bit before I submitted the first 20 pages, but there's still a lot of my book to finish, so things will probably change once I get to the final stages and complete the manuscript.

The overall impression I got from my colleagues was that they liked the story.  

They liked the beginning a lot - I got a lot of compliments on that, so that was very encouraging.  

I was glad to learn that there are some things I can do to make my writing stronger; specifically, using the "Show and Not Tell" technique.

Rather than saying "the water was freezing,"  I should say something like "her numb fingers clung to the keel of the capsized sailboat."  

Talking about "numb fingers" indicates that the water was freezing without actually saying it.   

This way, my story become more engaging and creates a more vivid image in the minds of my readers.  

I did do a lot of "show and not tell," in the story but I hadn't consciously made the decision to do that.  It just sort of came out that way.  

I know that when I go through and edit my story, I will be a lot more deliberate in how I deliver a scene, but if I can finish the book with this in mind, I won't have so much to fix when I go back through in my second draft.  

I do want to be careful to not make every single sentence SO flowery and rich that it becomes difficult to read and it's still my unique style.  I think there's a balance I need to achieve.  Sometimes I do want a short, succinct telling, indicating a fact without room for interpretation.  I think there are times when that could be very useful.  

There are many things that I don't know about writing.  I just know what I like and how I want to tell my story.  Do I know what a dangling participle is when I'm writing?  No, not really.  And I do want to learn that, but for now, I need to finish the first draft and then worry about grammar.  

I may come to the conclusion that I don't really care if everything is grammatically correct.  

Maybe I want it to sound more natural, like the way people actually talk.

It's all up to me.  It's my book and I can write it however I want.  I think that's the main thing to remember when getting critiqued.  

I was at Michael Kintz's book signing a couple of weeks ago (a writer in the group), and I met his publisher, EJ Thornton, of Thornton Publishing.   She said something to me that really helped: 

"Critiques don't have anything to do with the writer, they have to do with the person who is critiquing the writing."  

She explained that each person has their own hang ups and things they look for in their own writing and project those feelings into how they critique the work of others.  

This is something I will hang on to.  It helps me not be so sensitive when others tell me something I may not find particularly nice.  It's just their opinion.  I take what I want from the critique and leave the rest.     

Thankfully, everyone in the group was really encouraging and I am no longer scared to share my work with people.  I think this is a much healthier place than I was in about critiques and writing only a month or two ago.  I've learned so much in a short amount of time and I am so grateful for that.  

Update on Axle: 

We picked him up at the hospital today.  His left rear leg was opporated on with a proceedure called "TPLO" - it basically fixes the angle of his leg since he ruptured his CCL (dog version of the human ACL).  His meniscus was not damaged, so that is a HUGE blessing.  He is bruised and on pain medication, but he's already putting a little weight on the leg, so Matt and I are encouraged.  

House Update:

We are really starting to see things happen in the house.  We got our doors back, Matt laid the new subfloor, we picked out materials for the floors, cabinets, paint, granite, and took out a few walls while we were at it.  It's amazing what small changes can do to change the flow of a room.  We are really excited to get past the drywall phase, but we're not quite there yet.  I'll post pics as soon as there's something interesting to share.  ; )   

Happy 30th Birthday today to my big brother Bryan!!  I love you!  

Oh, and my nephew Tanner turns 1 in a couple of days too!  I can't believe it!   

   

Update on the last post

Hello all! 

Today has been an interesting one to be sure.  

This afternoon, Axle had seizure #5.  That's right, since the last post, Axle has had three more seizures.  That's a lot in the past 18 days.  Too many.

  

Right now, I am perched over our sleeping dog and writing about him.  I feel like an overprotective mother hen sitting on her egg.  The seizures don't seem to hurt.  But I feel awful watching him go through that without being able to really help.  

Our little egg:

Today, he seized on the subfloor of our entryway. 

We had asbestos in the linoleum under our Pergo, so we have been out of the house for a few days during the abatement.  When we returned home, we found large chunks missing from the subfloor.  Half an inch deep in some places.  The floor is not really safe to walk on in some spots and is really rough.  

This is what the floor looks like.  Not really a good representation of the chunks missing, but you get the idea.

This is what the kitchen looks like: 

Other things have happened since the last post.  Both good and bad. 

Matt's Dad is at home, wearing a neck brace and trying to do too much too soon.  But that is the way of the Brenkle.  If they're not working, they're dead.  I am just so thankful that he is beginning his recovery!  

Matt and I have begun picking out new floors and carpet to replace what was damaged.  So far, so good.  But it's not an immediate process.  

We're thinking of doing an engineered Tigerwood (Brazilian Koa) for the kitchen, entryway and in the adjacent family room.  

Any good or bad stories on that?  

Matt will be doing all of the reconstruction in the house - so it will be a good opportunity for him to showcase some of his talents and to use the money estimated for labor to do little upgrades with the materials we're choosing.  

We've also had the opportunity to spend some time with our nephew, Tanner.  

Here he is in all of his adorable glory:  

He'll be one year old next month.  I can't believe it!  He's almost walking too.  I'm not really ready for that phase, but I guess I have to accept it.  The question is, are his parents ready?  Ha! We'll see.  

I am waiting to hear back on a job that I really want.  I feel like it would be a really good fit and a great company to work for, so I have my fingers crossed.  

I am also submitting next week for my writer's group for the first time.  I am nervous and excited to get feedback on my story.  

Matt actually just started "secretly" reading my rough draft and said he was impressed.  That makes me very happy to have his support.  I guess he didn't really know what to expect.  And I didn't know he was reading it!  Sneaky!  

I don't mind that he read it.  It actually takes the edge off of other's critiquing what I've written.

Anyway, there's a lot going on right now, sorry it took me so long to give you an update.

I hope all is well in your world! 

Lauren  

 

Bad Things Happen in Threes, Right?

Greetings from my bedside table. I can't sleep.  It's hot and humid in my room, my husband is in another state visiting his Dad who was bucked off his horse on Sunday and broke his neck; our house flooded on Tuesday and now all three levels are missing various flooring, ceiling, drywall, etc.;  and at 2:20AM this morning, my dog Axle had seizure number two.  

I can guess at the cause, since the last time he had a seizure was just under a month ago and the animal hospital couldn't find anything wrong with our boy that was very obvious.

I am hoping this ends the string of unfortunate events for our family, but am beginning to prepare myself for more despite the saying that "bad things happen in threes."

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining - it's just that these circumstances are so incredible that I feel the need to share them with you.  

I have yet to give a full account of what's happening at the house and demolition, but here's some fun pictures to illustrate:  

Restoration crew member ripping up our kitchen floor-

View of kitchen floors being dried out - that's a very attractive linoleum that was hidden under our Pergo!

Where the kitchen dining area light fixture was (much of the water collected and funneled out through the fixture onto our kitchen table and the floor).

You can see how wet the drywall was!

It's hard to see from this angle, but the crew had to remove a lot of the ceiling to get rid of all the contaminated moisture.

  

Playing in the Snow

We woke up this morning, put on our snow gear and trekked out into the park by our house.  

We had so much FUN!

The snow was pretty deep - up to Axle's chest in some parts of the park.  

He was running as fast as he could, rolling in the snow, plowing through it, throwing it up in the air and catching it in his mouth.  So funny.  He's never been in snow this deep before.    

It hasn't snowed very much this year, and it FINALLY really came down yesterday.    

Me and Axle having fun:

Axle and Matt playing in the snow:

He looks so cute in his puppy pack!

Matt and Axle running in the park.

When we got home, we shook out the pine tree on ourselves with Axle close by.  I wish I had a picture of that with all of our lashes white with snow and the dog looking a little bewildered.  What a great start to our day!    

Puppy Has a Seizure

I am still flustered.  

My puppy, Axle, had a seizure today.  

It was the first one I've ever seen a dog have.  

When I realized something was wrong, I thought he was just scratching his belly, but the tags on his collar were jingling too much.  I called his name.  He didn't respond.  I went over to him.  

His legs were sticking out and rigid.  He was on his bed, his mouth was open, he was gasping for breath, his head was under the couch and he had peed all over the place.  I moved him out into the open so he wouldn't hurt himself under the couch.  

We rushed him to the Animal Hospital.  We had blood work done - and the results showed no abnormalities in the blood or his urine.  Everything was normal, which indicates an exterior cause or no real "cause" at all.  Apparently, that happens a lot more often than not.  

We need to watch him now and keep a "Puppy Journal," to make sure we track EVERYTHING that happened today with the dog in case it happens again.  That way, they might be able to deduce a possible cause from any common factors.          

It was really scary and I hope it never happens again.  

But we'll be watching him extra close for a while.  He's at my feet right now.  I think the smell of his bed/ the area where his bed has some bad memories.    

I'm still pretty shaken up...and Matt is too.  

Even our cat Ty, seems to be acting a little more vigilant around the dog.