Procrastination

Procrastination is an ugly little habit many writers deal with in their careers.  

And yes, I do believe it is a habit; which means that ultimately the pattern of waiting until the last minute to finish something or never doing it at all can be broken. 

I have warring tendencies in my nature that a) want to plan everything out and be prepared for every scenario possible in as many areas of my life as I can and b) wants to put everything off until...well, forever really.  It's really quite confusing and a bit embarrassing that I seem to be a walking contradiction of myself.    

It depends on the activity of course that determines how much procrastination takes hold.  

If I ever feel as though I HAVE to do whatever it is, the more likely I will put it off until the last possible moment.  If, of course, it is an extra curricular activity that I really WANT to do, it gets done first, and then I regret having finished it so quickly and not taking my time to savor the moment.  

Three weeks ago, I volunteered to submit a piece for my writer's group for critique.  Since I began, no one has gone twice, and I submitted my first time somewhere in the middle of the pack.  I volunteered because our numbers have dwindled a bit during the summer months and no one else was willing to put their hat in the ring.  So I thought "this is great," we're skipping the weekend we would normally meet due to the 4th of July weekend and I'll have an extra week to really have a stellar submission - really knock their socks off."

Oh, you think I would know myself by now...

I had so much time to do everything right and you know what happened?  I had a recovering puppy with his hurt leg and vet appointments, family in town, brand new job, 4th of July plans, helped paint my friend's condo, read a couple of books, worked on our house reconstruction, our 3 year anniversary, birthday parties, copywriting for the new job...

A WHOLE LIST of things I either had to do or that took the place of sitting down and working on my critique submission.  

Was there time in the midst of all of this to write?  Of course there was.  And what did I do?  Write a little, but not focusing on the task at hand. 

I had initially set out to finish this book, get an agent and get a publisher all before the end of the 2009 calendar year.  A goal that I think I should still shoot for (so I have a deadline), but one that I am quickly beginning to realize is almost a laughable feat.  Can it be done?  Sure!  Can I do it is an entirely different question.  One that we will just have to see about. 

So - that is what I'm struggling with currently.  And it seems that when I air out my difficulties, it motivates me through shame and the fear of failure to actually turn myself around.  So here goes nothing - I hope this works!  

Here's my current situation:  

I am hovering at right around 52,000 words at the moment.  My goal is to reach around 90,000 words in my rough draft and then whatever the final word count is, I'm fine with.  

To finish the rough draft alone in 2009, I need to be writing around 2,000 words a week.  

That's 400 new words a day, if I write 5 days out of the 7.  That's totally doable, right??  I think I can do it.  But that's just the rough draft.  Polishing the book is going to take a significant amount of time and stick-to-it-iv-ness, as my Mom would say.  

Okay.  That's enough of that for now.  

Here's some other life-updates: 

Axle doing his silly "Pooh-bear sit"

-Axle is healing quickly and doing really well.  Matt and I took him to the vet today to get his stitches out and the surgeon who performed the surgery praised him on how well he was doing. 

-My new job is as a Brand Manager with a company called Brand Iron.  You can check out what we do here:  www.brandiron.net

-Matt is working almost every night on the house and it's slowly getting done.  The downstairs bath is almost complete (minus the baseboards, crown moulding and the mirror).  We've taken inspiration from a photo my sister-in-law took while she and my brother were in Greece.  It looks great.  I am so proud of Matt and can't wait to share some pics of it when it's complete.  Our house is going to look amazing.    

Pistol, in a reusable grocery bag

-Our youngest pet, a 2 year old short haired tiger striped tabby named Pistol was picked up by a hawk this week.  I was outside clipping the hedges when she spontaneously fell from the sky.  Matt saw her land in an area that was not exactly a normal place for her to fall from (no trees overhead).  The hawk glided up into a nearby tree to wait as she scampered off into the bushes.  The hawk glided off his perch and headed straight for Matt, or so it seemed:  Ty (our 4 year old cat) was in the grass behind him.  

If the bird thought he could pick him up, he is crazy, or really really hungry; either of which is not really a good combination for our cats.  

Pistol and Ty are both fine, surprisingly healthy, but pretty resentful about being confined to the inside of the house for now.  Their cries for freedom are pretty pitiful and hard to ignore.     

 

 -My older brother passed his P.E. exam (Professional Engineer) on the first try.  I guess only 50% of the applicants who take the test make it on the first time around, so we're really proud of him.  Congratulations B!  

-His son, (my nephew) is walking now - scratch that, running.  He's keeping his mommy and daddy on their toes for sure.  I hear that he has forgotten that he still needs to go down the stairs a bit lower to the ground and that he's feeling so confident in his new skill that he's fallen twice now.  Isn't that how we learn?  I imagine he'll be talking soon.  But, if he's anything like his dad, he'll only speak when there's something really worth saying.  And that's okay.  It's just fun (for a chatter box like me) to watch him grow and await the day when he can communicate exactly what he means with words.  

If you're still reading this, and you have a moment, please feel free to take my little poll about the book.  I think that this will really help (when this eventually becomes more of a blog about writing and my book).  

Thanks!  

L

 

Update: Axle is healing, Tanner is ONE and our granite

Here's a short update on a couple of things:  

Puppy got his stitches out today!  2 weeks post-op.  He is lookin' good!  (This photo was taken the first day after surgery - so the swelling and bruising has gone down.)  He's so strong now, it's difficult keeping him from pulling on his leash.  

Tanner is ONE year old!  Here he is on his first trip to the aquarium.  He can barely stay in his seat!

Tanner wanting to swim with the fishes.  (Sting ray, actually.) 

Tanner enjoying his first taste of spaghetti.  (He cried when he was presented with his yellow cake / chocolate icing birthday cake - I guess the icing was too gooey and messy!)  No matter...the more for the rest of us.  He doesn't know what he's missing yet.   

Tanner showing Bryan a big leopard at the zoo.  

We were all mesmerized by this beautiful show of feathers.  

Here's our granite for the bathroom vanities.  Matt really wanted something orange, lighter in overall color with a lot of movement.  I didn't want orange...but we found this one and both liked it.  This'll go on top of two different colors of cherry wood vanities.   

That's the update for now.    

More later.  

L

Update on the last post

Hello all! 

Today has been an interesting one to be sure.  

This afternoon, Axle had seizure #5.  That's right, since the last post, Axle has had three more seizures.  That's a lot in the past 18 days.  Too many.

  

Right now, I am perched over our sleeping dog and writing about him.  I feel like an overprotective mother hen sitting on her egg.  The seizures don't seem to hurt.  But I feel awful watching him go through that without being able to really help.  

Our little egg:

Today, he seized on the subfloor of our entryway. 

We had asbestos in the linoleum under our Pergo, so we have been out of the house for a few days during the abatement.  When we returned home, we found large chunks missing from the subfloor.  Half an inch deep in some places.  The floor is not really safe to walk on in some spots and is really rough.  

This is what the floor looks like.  Not really a good representation of the chunks missing, but you get the idea.

This is what the kitchen looks like: 

Other things have happened since the last post.  Both good and bad. 

Matt's Dad is at home, wearing a neck brace and trying to do too much too soon.  But that is the way of the Brenkle.  If they're not working, they're dead.  I am just so thankful that he is beginning his recovery!  

Matt and I have begun picking out new floors and carpet to replace what was damaged.  So far, so good.  But it's not an immediate process.  

We're thinking of doing an engineered Tigerwood (Brazilian Koa) for the kitchen, entryway and in the adjacent family room.  

Any good or bad stories on that?  

Matt will be doing all of the reconstruction in the house - so it will be a good opportunity for him to showcase some of his talents and to use the money estimated for labor to do little upgrades with the materials we're choosing.  

We've also had the opportunity to spend some time with our nephew, Tanner.  

Here he is in all of his adorable glory:  

He'll be one year old next month.  I can't believe it!  He's almost walking too.  I'm not really ready for that phase, but I guess I have to accept it.  The question is, are his parents ready?  Ha! We'll see.  

I am waiting to hear back on a job that I really want.  I feel like it would be a really good fit and a great company to work for, so I have my fingers crossed.  

I am also submitting next week for my writer's group for the first time.  I am nervous and excited to get feedback on my story.  

Matt actually just started "secretly" reading my rough draft and said he was impressed.  That makes me very happy to have his support.  I guess he didn't really know what to expect.  And I didn't know he was reading it!  Sneaky!  

I don't mind that he read it.  It actually takes the edge off of other's critiquing what I've written.

Anyway, there's a lot going on right now, sorry it took me so long to give you an update.

I hope all is well in your world! 

Lauren